Sex is fucking intimate. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been dating someone for five years or five minutes, when it comes to sex, there’s always this thinly veiled sense of vulnerability. Am I doing this right? Does my partner enjoy this? Maybe I should do it like that instead?
When it comes to spicing up the bedroom, the addition of sex toys can open whole new dimensions of pleasure for both partners. These tantalizing tools provide sensations and experiences that our bodies simply can’t replicate, offering the potential for more intense, varied, and frequent orgasms. Yet, despite the fading taboos around using sex toys, the idea of bringing them into a partnered sexual experience can still feel daunting.
Why the hesitation, you ask? Well, it often stems from persistent misconceptions that toys are solely for solo play, while partnered sex should meet every need using just bodies. This belief persists despite the evolving landscape. Marketing hasn’t helped either, framing toys as replacements or fixes for sexual issues, which can create insecurity, especially among those less familiar with toys, leading to the misconception that interest in toys equals a threat to one’s sexual prowess.
Also read: What are some benefits of using sex toys?
The good news? Initiating conversations about sex toys need not be a daunting task. Several sex counselors, educators, and toy experts recently shared invaluable insights on broaching this topic productively and smoothly.
How to Use Sex Toys With a Partner
Why use sex toys?
Curious about couple sex toys but not entirely convinced? That’s totally alright. Sex toys aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, yet there are some solid perks to using them that are worth exploring. Firstly, let’s talk about the obvious—the fun factor. As sex therapist Rosara Torrisi, L.C.S.W., Ph.D., aptly puts it, “Sex is the adult version of the playground. It’s where we’re allowed to let go and be playful. And with that in mind, you can use anything you want on the playground, including toys.”
Sex toys enrich intimacy, fostering exploration and deeper connections between partners. They’re not just for pleasure; they ignite communication, understanding, and playful exploration, enhancing your shared sexual journey
But let’s dig deeper. For many individuals, particularly those with vaginas, certain types of stimulation are crucial to achieving orgasm. According to the Mayo Clinic, clitoral stimulation is a key component for most people with vaginas to reach climax. While a vibrator isn’t a necessity for clitoral play, it can be immensely helpful, especially if you seek more intense stimulation than what you or your partner can provide manually. It’s important to note that many individuals can only achieve orgasm with the aid of a vibrator, and there’s absolutely no shame in that.
What kind of sex toys are we talking about?
When it comes to incorporating sex toys for couples into your partnered play, the options are endless! But let’s delve into some of the most common and thrilling toys and accessories that can elevate your shared sensual experiences.
Couple-Specific Toys
While virtually any toy can transform into a couple’s delight, specific toys designed for partnered pleasure offer unique experiences. Certified sex therapist Courtney Geter, L.M.F.T., suggests exploring toys crafted with P-in-V sex in mind, such as the Clitoral Stimulator Vibrator ($22.99, Secret Sinners). This versatile vibrator can be inserted into the vagina during penetration, simultaneously stimulating the clitoris, G-spot, and partner’s penis.
Vibrators Galore
The world of vibrators is vast and diverse, ranging from external wands and bullets to insertable vibrators and rabbits. Selecting the right one depends on your intended use. For partnered sex, consider factors like the size and shape of an external vibrator. These aspects play a crucial role if you aim to use it during penetration or if you want your partner to comfortably hold it from specific angles.
Dildos, Plugs, and Strap-Ons
These toys cater to penetration, be it vaginal or anal. This category often intersects with Remote Control Vibrator, as many vibrators double as dildos or plugs. The variety here offers choices for different preferences and levels of intensity.
BDSM and Sensation Play Accessories
While some prefer to label them as accessories rather than toys, BDSM and sensation play tools open the door to thrilling sensory exploration. From bondage tape to blindfolds, these items enhance play by engaging the senses, adding an element of excitement and anticipation to your intimate moments.
Now, ready for some pro tips to make the most out of these toys and accessories?
Some Tips For While Using Sex Toys
1.Ensure Mutual Interest and Safety
Before diving into the world of couple sex toys, it’s vital to ensure both partners are genuinely interested. Address any hesitations openly and discuss safe practices, especially if sharing toys is on the agenda. Conversations about these aspects might feel awkward, but they’re essential. If guidance is needed, this article offers insights into navigating these discussions effortlessly.
2.Shop Together for Anticipation
For beginners, exploring toy options together is an excellent way to spark curiosity and engage in foreplay. It’s an opportunity to communicate desires and preferences. Shopping in-store allows a hands-on experience with toys and expert advice, while online shopping offers privacy and more extensive discussions about toy preferences.
3.Expand Beyond Genital Stimulation
While sex toys typically focus on genital stimulation, exploring the entire body can enhance the experience. Experimenting with toys on different body parts can provide new sensations and heighten arousal.
4.Clitoral Stimulation During Penetration
Addressing the challenge of orgasming during penetration for individuals with vaginas, utilizing a discreet clit vibrator like the We-Vibe Touch or Fin Finger Vibrator during penetration can intensify pleasure. Exploring various positions might offer better control and comfort.
5.Experiment with Edging
Toys can aid in edging, bringing partners close to climax before stopping. This teasing approach not only adds excitement but also enhances understanding of each other’s orgasmic triggers.
6.Leverage Remote-Controlled Toys
Vibrators and plugs with remote controls streamline pleasure during sex, offering convenient access to varying intensities and patterns. Some brands even offer long-distance connectivity via apps for teasing intimacy from different locations.
7.Sensory Play Beyond Specialty Toys
Creative sensory experiences can be enhanced using temperature-play toys like metal ones that retain heat or cold. Sensory deprivation, such as using simple satin blindfolds, intensifies tactile sensations.
8.Role Reversals and Playful Scenarios
Toys provide avenues for exploring roles and scenarios beyond traditional dynamics. Strap-ons, gender-based accessories, or playing with dominant and submissive roles offer diverse experiences.
9.Mutual Masturbation
Engaging in mutual masturbation allows partners to explore each other’s bodies and preferences. Introducing toys for partners with penises, like the Fleshlight Flight Pilot Male Masturbator or Hot Octopuss Pulse Solo Essential, can add new dimensions to pleasure.
sexy games for couples
Introducing sexy games for couples can add an exhilarating dimension to intimacy. From intimate dares in card games to elaborate board games fostering exploration and creativity, these activities create a space for open communication and trust. Like sex toys, discussing desires and boundaries beforehand is crucial, ensuring a consensual and enjoyable experience. So, why not spice up your intimate moments with the playful thrill of sexy games?
Where to buy a sex toy
Finding the ideal sex toy that perfectly complements your desires can be an exciting yet daunting journey. Whether you’re a seasoned enthusiast or a complete beginner, the right shopping experience makes all the difference.
In-Person vs. Online Shopping: Pros and Cons
Face to Face shops offer a personalized touch that can’t be replicated online. Engaging with knowledgeable salespeople provides valuable insights and tailored recommendations based on your preferences. Feeling the texture, weight, and understanding the toy’s functionalities in real life is advantageous, especially for beginners seeking guidance.
Online Convenience
On the other hand, the internet is a treasure trove of information. It provides access to extensive reviews, comparison lists, and comprehensive guides. A simple search yields a plethora of options, making it ideal for researching various products, checking prices, and discovering user experiences. However, navigating through countless choices might overwhelm some, leading them back to physical stores for a more hands-on approach.
Not All Retailers Are Equal
While online platforms like Amazon offer convenience, caution is necessary. Third-party sellers may compromise the authenticity of products. It’s crucial to prioritize the safety and quality of items, especially considering their intimate use.
As Gigi Engle wisely advises, “Opt for vibrators made from safe materials, sourced from reputable vendors who specialize in these products.”
Also read: Buying Sex Toys Online VS In-Store
Trusted Retailers for Authenticity and Quality
Specialty Boutiques
Specialty brick-and-mortar shops, often staffed with sex-positive experts, offer a curated selection of high-quality toys. These stores prioritize education, ensuring customers make informed choices. The personal touch and expert advice make them a haven for beginners seeking guidance.
Manufacturer Websites
Directly purchasing from reputable manufacturers ensures authenticity and quality. Many leading brands offer a diverse range of products, accompanied by detailed descriptions and customer support. Shopping on the manufacturer’s website guarantees the originality of the product.
Certified Online Retailers
Opt for established online retailers dedicated to sexual wellness. These platforms prioritize customer satisfaction, often featuring verified reviews, detailed product descriptions, and secure transactions. They provide a wide selection while maintaining quality standards.
Factors to Consider When Choosing a Retailer
Authenticity Assurance
Look for retailers guaranteeing authentic, body-safe products. They should prioritize safety, quality materials, and manufacturing standards to ensure a satisfying and secure experience.
Discreet Shipping and Packaging
Many reliable retailers offer discreet shipping to protect your privacy. Confidential packaging ensures that your purchase remains your personal affair.
Return and Warranty Policies
A reputable retailer stands behind its products with return policies and warranties, providing peace of mind in case of any issues.
User Reviews and Recommendations
Consider platforms with authentic user reviews and recommendations. Real experiences and testimonials from other customers can guide you toward the right choices.
Secret Sinners: Your Trusted Companion
Secret Sinners stands out as a trusted destination for high-quality, authentic sex toys. With a commitment to authenticity and customer satisfaction, Secret Sinners offers a diverse range of products to suit individual preferences.
Why Choose Secret Sinners?
- Authenticity Assurance: Secret Sinners prioritizes authenticity, ensuring the highest quality products, and a safe shopping experience.
- Expert Guidance: Benefit from expert advice and guidance in selecting the perfect toy to fulfill your desires.
- Discreet Shipping: Confidentiality matters. Secret Sinners ensures discreet packaging and shipping to protect your privacy.
- Wide Selection: Explore a wide array of authentic products, from beginner-friendly toys to advanced options, catering to every preference.
- Customer Satisfaction: Secret Sinners prioritizes customer satisfaction, offering a seamless shopping experience and reliable support.
Why Secret Sinners?
Customer-Centric Approach
Secret Sinners understands the intimate nature of these purchases. They prioritize your comfort, ensuring a secure, discreet, and fulfilling shopping experience. With a commitment to authenticity and quality, every purchase from Secret Sinners is a step toward satisfaction and pleasure.
Also read : Toys for Him, Toys for Her: Understanding Your Partner’s Preferences
Timing Matters
One of the most common missteps when introducing toys is surprising a partner with them during sex. Instead, setting aside dedicated time outside of the bedroom for a conversation can alleviate pressure and anxiety. Early in a relationship, discussing sexual preferences openly lays the groundwork, making it easier to naturally introduce toys. However, there’s no “perfect” time. Months or even years into a relationship, when you’ve established open dialogues about desires, mentioning toys could open doors to deeper intimate discussions.
Openness, Not Criticism
Avoid connecting the desire for toys to dissatisfaction with current sexual experiences. Instead, approach the conversation as an exploration of new avenues for mutual pleasure. Being apologetic or shy about your desires can create unnecessary stress. Embrace the idea of expanding sexual horizons as an exciting journey together.
Gentle Approach
If your partner seems resistant to the idea, don’t force it. Instead, engage in discussions to understand their concerns. Addressing fears or stigmas around toys and sex can pave the way for future explorations.
Mutual Exploration
For those interested in exploring sex toys, refrain from dictating the how’s and what’s. Engage in ongoing conversations about shared sensations, exploring new experiences, and how toys could complement your existing sexual encounters. Encourage each other to think beyond traditional genital stimulation.
Safety and Fun
With the multitude of toys available, take time to explore options together. Research, seek advice, and when you make a purchase, experiment safely. Remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all guide. If it feels good and is safe, it’s right for you!
Expert Insights from VICE Australia
Eleanor Hadley, Sensuality Coach & Sex Educator, emphasizes the importance of communication when introducing sex toys. Initiating a conversation before sex, referencing informative articles, or sharing personal experiences with toys can ease the introduction.
Clarity about why and how you want to use toys is crucial. Addressing differences in pleasure anatomy and reframing orgasms can help partners understand the role of toys in enhancing pleasure, not replacing it.
Reassurance is vital. Sex toys are not substitutes for human connection; they’re tools to explore new sensations and experiences, enhancing pleasure without diminishing intimacy.
Also read: Adult Toys: Breaking Taboos and Embracing Intimacy
Choosing the Right Toy
Select versatile and non-intimidating toys that cater to both partners’ preferences. For instance, Frenchie’s Double Entendre Vibrator offers a multitude of options for various sensations and genders.
Making it a Shared Experience
Eleanor offers creative ways to incorporate a toy like Frenchie’s Double Entendre, ensuring pleasure for all bodies. From external play to blended orgasms, exploring new sensations together can be both exciting and intimate.
Aftercare and Consent
Debriefing and discussing experiences after trying a new toy is essential for open communication. Remember, consent is paramount. If a partner isn’t interested initially, start with mutual masturbation or foreplay to gradually introduce toys.
Final Thoughts
Bringing sex toys into the bedroom is an opportunity to deepen intimacy and explore new realms of pleasure. Open communication, reassurance, and a shared journey of exploration can transform the introduction of toys into a delightful and enriching experience.
Remember, sex is about connection and pleasure. Introducing sex toys should enhance this, not replace it. Communication, mutual consent, and a willingness to explore al together are the keys to a fulfilling and intimate sexual relationship.
Ultimately, the journey into toy-enhanced partnered sex is about mutual pleasure, exploration, and growing closer as partners.
Written by Daniyal Khatri, a dedicated advocate for sexual wellness and relationship insights, striving to provide guidance for a more fulfilling and intimate life
